How many times have you heard an adult say to a child, ‘say please’, ‘say thank you’, ‘say bye bye’? Almost too many times to count in my experience. Of course, we know it’s important to use these politeness markers and conventions in order for children to learn how to interact with others. But, is this truly ‘functional communication?’
Functional communication has a specific purpose and is practical and useful. Whilst phatic comments like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ serve to indicate children are using a polite manner, these might not be functional for a child who is struggling to develop their communication skills.
‘Please’ and ‘thank you’ don’t hold a lot of ‘semantic weight’ or meaning. They are light on meaning and if your child has difficulties understanding and using language, they may not be so practical or useful. For the language delayed child, we must enter into their world and begin to appreciate what is powerful and meaningful to them. We need to select vocabulary that has dense and practical meaning. For example, if your child loves ‘Peppa Pig’ this is likely to hold more power than ‘please’.
Consider what your child is highly motivated by. Try not to dictate this. You’ll have more success in developing communication skills when your child has agency and can choose their own preferences. This will give them a sense of control and is likely to create an environment where communication can flourish. The more you hone into your child interests, the more you as the adult will model the kind of language they are motivated to use. They are also likely to hear more repetitions of a word if you follow your child’s lead.
Functional vocabulary will be different for every child depending on their age and stage of development. It’s important to celebrate your child’s unique preferences and delight in their communicative successes. As the language delayed child becomes more confident in their communication skills, we can gradually model more vocabulary and begin to incorporate words that are functional for their age and stage of development.
Ask yourself this, ‘is it fun?’ If the answer is yes, it’s likely you’ve chosen some ‘FUN-ctional’ vocabulary for your child.
-Annabel Whitcombe
Speech and Language Therapist